Thursday, June 02, 2005
hi all, decided to start up a blog to spice up my super mundane life now of slacking away. My family's away in Malacca for the weekends living my second sis and me to fend for ourselves....this means total freedom!! Yeah!!
Hmm, am now reading this book by Joshua Harris : Boy meets Girl. Bought it early this year. It's been taking me forever to finish the book. Perhaps cause I jump from book to book. "That's very bad" my brain tells me, so, being a dutiful girl, I'll try to finish the book today. You know, I tell myself, once I finish this book, I'll be ready to start a relationship. Me and my nonsense. I know I'm not. hmm.. when will I ever be? You know, most of my friends says I think a lot, sometimes too much. I suppose it's true. But regarding this issue, I do have some questions that need to be answered. It's like I have the lock, I need to find the right key for it.
Hmm.. I'm wondering, If supposingly everyone is generally nice to everybody, then if 2 can click, feel comfortable in each other's presence, then they can be together? if supposingly love and relations can be nurtured (so the chinese proverb always says) by spending time together, both being committed to one another, then how do you know he or she is the one? I think I need something more than that. Perhaps the answer is obviously simple.
One, both must like each other. This area is super grey. How then can you explain the tried and proven idea that match-made marriages in the past, take for example when Abraham got his son Issac a wife, can last? Then there is also another grey area of crushes, infatuation and like? Let me give you some of my friends' opinions.
A says "Like is more definate when you see the flaws in the other person and continue to like her"
B says "infatuation is when you just want to have a romantic fantasy with that person but like is more pravalent when you think of where both parties are coming from, their friends, families, the situation they are in.. and try to put them together."
I think that crushes are easy to distinguish. I have had many. When you don't really know the person and admire him from far.. with that burst of sugery feeling whenever he walks pass, hopeing that he notices you. Your heart beats real fast and you becomes real shy when he looks at you. okie..that's for me. may not be the same for everyone. That stage past for me, I hope. *cross fingers* But now, hmm.. what then is infatuation? The word reminds me of Romeo and Juliet. (My lit text in sec 3 and 4. I love lit. It enters you into a whole new world of the undiscovered)
Infatuation is the idea of being in love. In love with the idea of love. not really with the person that is, and perhaps in love with what you think the person is. Bagging on the comment from my mum that infatuation can last for a few years, I really must discover and distinguish between like and infatuation.
You know what diary, I can keep on asking for others opinions again and again. But does it make any use to me? Not really.. It's true that it's better to learn from others' experiences but sometimes we have to learn things on our own. It's not so straight forward every time. I believe God also wants us to have faith and live life to the fullest. Don't be afraid of making mistakes at least try. On another school of thought, it is an important decision. One should not just try and try and try. Or even from my another friend, to try cause he/she feels its pretty sad if we grow older and not have anyone at all during these years of our lives.
hmm.. this topic is super ambiguious. There is this part where God provides and another where we as humans must also take this step of faith to persue it. Lines are so blured nowadays. But nothing is really clear anymore except through His word.
Well, I do want to focus on making as many good friendships as possible in the Uni. Am trusting God for many things. Good friends that I can click with, good teachers, good time management where I learn how to cope with stress. I suppose God will provide in His own good time. I'm going cause of the course and I do like maths and numbers. I don't know what to expect but see, this is where faith comes in. My friends do learn a lot when they go through the changing of schools and in BMT. I suppose it's time for me to learn faith too. He has been very good to me. I must trust that He will see me through these 3 years in Uni again. May the name of the Lord be praised!
My Sunshine @| 10:43 PM
